


Smoke [Audio]

by ZoeBug



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Audio Content, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Smoking, Sound Effects, Suicidal Thoughts, Talking To Dead People, The text is a script - this piece is meant to be listened to in audio, it's just really fuckin' sad yall, sure i'll pop it in that tag so people can find more audio content, that's a tag wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:16:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14696847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoeBug/pseuds/ZoeBug
Summary: "You see, I... I'm not doin' so hot without you."Jean visits Marco's grave.





	Smoke [Audio]

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a line from the J/M fic "Paper Hearts" by ataraxia: _"Jean starts smoking the day he discover's Marco's body."_
> 
> Ok, so I wrote this script and recorded it YEARS ago, but never uploaded it because I was nervous about my voice acting skills and also that I was an assigned female at birth person voicing a male character. And then I kinda forgot it was something I ever did. I found it again while going through old files and decided, hey why not post it to AO3? 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it for what it is: me wanting to voice really really sad angst and being very self indulgent by writing my own script for it and mixing it with sound effects.

****

**DOWNLOAD MP3** : [HERE](http://www.mediafire.com/file/r67qrm7i2lnylw8/Smoke.mp3)

 **Length** : 00:03:52

 

* * *

 

EXT. - GRAVEYARD, LATE AFTERNOON

_JEAN stands before Marco's gravestone. It's Autumn. JEAN is in his usual military uniform, collar turned up against the cold, digging for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in his pocket with numb fingers_

JEAN

Been a little bit since I've come to see you, huh, dude?

_JEAN places the cigarette in his mouth. He clicks the lighter a few times before it finally catches and he lights his cigarette._

_He inhales and it causes a small coughing fit. After he has regained a stead breath, he puts the lighter back in his pocket. When he speaks again, JEAN's voice is still hoarse._

JEAN (CONT'D)

Still haven't gotten completely used to these yet.

_JEAN sighs and it causes him to let out another cough._

JEAN (CONT'D)

Fuck...

_Beat._

JEAN (CONT'D)

Not as bad as I thought they would be. Taste like shit, though, and feel like... Well. That's the point, right?

_JEAN huffs a bitter sort of sigh._

JEAN (CONT'D)

Stupid, I know. I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't have liked this. I know what you would have said. " _Those things'll kill you, Jean!_ "

_He lets out a small, sad laugh._

JEAN (CONT'D)

I fuckin' know, man.

( _voice strained_ )

That's kind of the point. You see, I... I'm not doin' so hot without you. I guess if I don't think I'm slowly killing myself, Marco, I might just do it a faster way. I mean, I won't lie. Those blades have been looking mighty friendly lately.

_JEAN breaks off, as if realizing what he's said, and grits out a horrible self-deprecating laugh._

JEAN (CONT'D)

Oh, God, but what fucking good would that do, right?! I- I'm sorry. I don't have your talent for being so _optimistic_ all the time, ok? No one does.

( _off-handedly_ )

I think you're still the last person I saw smile.

_JEAN takes another drag off his cigarette and coughs a little._

JEAN (CONT'D)

( _bitter_ )

But I gotta keep going, right? Because that's what you would have wanted. Because your _fucking_ ghost won't let me just give up just yet. But you know something, Marco? I bet you all the fucking smokes in the goddamn world that _I'll_ be a ghost, too, long before we see each other again.

_Beat._

JEAN (CONT'D)

( _weary)_

I'm not cut out for this shit. Not without you here.

_JEAN takes another drag of the cigarette and only coughs the slightest bit._

JEAN (CONT'D)

I know these things'll kill me, ok? But... not as painfully as other things. And you know, Marco, right now I'm not talking like the physical kind of dying, right? I'm talking slowly watching the light fade from the world kind of dying. I'm talking not being able to remember how to laugh kind of dying. I'm talking looking at the sky at night and not being able to see the stars anymore kind of dying because, fuck, Marco, I just-

 _JEAN breaks off, overcome with emotion_.

JEAN (CONT'D)

( _harsh, defeated and hopeless_ )

_Fuck._

_JEAN takes another drag, smooth, and then blows it out just as easily._

_He lets out a small, joyless laugh._

JEAN (CONT'D)

Barely coughed that time, eh?

_JEAN throws what remains of the cigarette to the ground and grinds it out with a crunch of his boot-sole in the dirt._

JEAN (CONT'D)

( _empty_ )

I'll see you, round, man.

_JEAN turns and walks away from the grave, hands in pockets._

END SCENE

 

**Author's Note:**

> [fanfic/podfic blog](http://zoe-bug.tumblr.com/) | [personal](http://xiexiecaptain.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/xiexiecaptain)


End file.
